This weekend is a huge crossroads for me as far as this Team in Training “project” is concerned. This weekend we are asked to recommit – to sign a paper saying we will participate in the hike event. The reason this feels so huge is that we also provide a credit card, and if we don’t meet our fundraising commitment by the event date, we pay the remainder ourselves.
This makes me nervous because I’ve barely touched the fundraising. This semester has been brutal – I ended up teaching a class, but work is so busy that I don’t really have time for teaching too. I’ve been suffering from exhaustion (hence the turning back last week). So this is one more stress, especially since I’m generally very nervous when it comes to money.
So how do I decide? Well, it may be the less prudent choice, but I’m pushing forward and signing that form. I feel it’s important for my integrity for me to commit to this and see it through completely. Since this program is about raising money for blood cancers, I often think about the treatment process – when someone is sick with cancer and the treatment gets difficult, they don’t have the option of quitting. I am nervous and stressed and exhausted, but I’m not giving up. It’s important to me that I take a lesson from those who have more courage than I do. I’m committing, even if there’s a financial consequence. I want to be the kind of person who finishes this rather than running scared from it.