3/21/09 – Struggling on the trail March 21, 2009

Today we hiked part of the Appalachian Trail at Clark’s Ferry (in Pennsylvania).  It was a grueling hike, partially because it was long (we hiked for about 6 hours altogether) and partially because there is a 1000-foot rise in the first mile.  Things have been busy lately, and I was feeling exhausted before I even left the house today.  There were a couple points during the hike where I thought I might not have the strength to keep lifting my feet.  Today was the first time that the hike gave my mental game such a challenge.

 

Our hike leaders and mentors remind us when things get tough that this mental “game” is important, and I love that they relate it to the experience of people with cancer.  Dealing with a cancer diagnosis and treatment is a huge strain on a person’s mental game, and it’s the kind of battle that you can’t decide to quit.  This hike was a little bit similar – I suppose I could have refused to go any further, but I still would have had to hike that distance back to the parking area.

 

Today’s hike really made me question my own mettle.  Would I have the courage to deal with a serious illness?  I started realizing that for me courage falters more when it comes to things that are unfamiliar to me or that I don’t know much about.  Being out in the wilderness is definitely a little bit foreign to me, and it was harder than usual to feel confident and keep myself going.

 

Afterwards, when I had fought through the exhaustion, I felt really good about the experience.  I’m not suggesting that it’s healthy for people to push themselves past their physical limits.  I was never in actual physical danger.  But the mental challenge ended up being a great experience, and a reminder that I sometimes need to be pushed outside of my comfort zone in order to grow as an individual.

3/15/09 – No hike this weekend March 15, 2009

This weekend was one of our weekends without an organized hike, when we’re responsible for training on our own.  Whenever we have a weekend like this, I prefer to do some other kind of working out and take a break from the “usual” Saturday of hiking.  My very favorite other activity is walking the dog or chasing him around the dog park.  But I also have several workout DVDs that I love to do.  It doesn’t get any more convenient than working out in your own living room!

3/7/09 – Missed the hike March 7, 2009

Today I missed the hike because I was sick with a migraine.  I’ve had migraines since college, and they are a curse.  The good news is that I identified my triggers long ago.  The bad news is that I often can’t avoid them – they are things like exhaustion, eye strain, and stress.  Things are particularly difficult at work this semester, and that’s usually a recipe for increased frequency of migraines.

2/28/09 – First tough hike February 28, 2009

Today was the first really challenging hike on our schedule.  We hiked about 5 miles (2.5 out & 2.5 back the same way), with a steady uphill climb the whole way out.  The terrain was rocky and a little slippery.  I loved it, even though it was tough!  I knew it was a tough hike when I got home afterwards and told my significant other I was just going to lie down and rest for an hour.  Four hours later, I woke up ravenous and couldn’t stop eating for the rest of the evening.  Whoo!  Feels great to use my muscles like this!

 

This first difficult hike made me really appreciate two things that I don’t appreciate on a regular day – the shoes I was wearing and the food I brought.  I bought a pair of hiking boots from the new END (Environmentally Neutral Design) company.  I don’t wear leather because I’m vegetarian-just-about-vegan, and beyond the dead cow issue, I also think carefully about the environmental and societal impact of my purchases.  So I was excited that this company started up recently, and just came out with hiking boots.  I find them to be really comfortable, but I was initially worried because they are very lightweight.  I’m not an expert in hiking and mountaineering, so there may be times where heavy boots are absolutely necessary.  But for our purposes, they are perfect!  I was thinking at one point during the hike that taking all those steps (thousands?) with heavier boots would have made me immensely more tired.  Loving my END boots so far!

 

The second thing I appreciated today was food.  I rarely use up so much energy that I’m deeply hungry, but the hike today made me hungry.  It was an interesting reminder of how easy we have things on a normal daily basis – the grocery store, fully stocked, is always within a short drive.  But we were out in the middle of nowhere, on foot, and hungry.  I haven’t had to plan my food for survival in a long time.  (well, maybe not quite survival, but the closest thing I’ve experienced in a while)  I sometimes forget that this is what people in some times and areas deal with (or dealt with) every day!

 

*sigh*  It’s so great to do something new and different.  I find myself learning more about myself. 

2/21/09 – M Ward instead of hiking February 21, 2009

I played hookie from today’s hike.  I hate to miss a hike, but I was in Philadelphia seeing M Ward last night and couldn’t get home and awake early enough to hike.  It was definitely worth it.  I try to tell myself that taking the dog for several long walks is at least a meager substitute for our training hikes.

2/15/09 – Reconnecting with nature February 15, 2009

Today we took a beautiful walk along what used to be a train bed.  It was a little astonishing to find this gorgeous spot hidden along a back road.  Sometimes I forget that such places exist, because I’m rarely off the proverbial beaten path.  I tend to be really good at being busy, working, constantly doing things on the computer, and that kind of achievement definitely gives me a certain kind of satisfaction.  I love crossing things off the to do list.

 

But getting out into nature, especially in a sort of hidden spot, gives me a feeling of serenity more than satisfaction.  I don’t so much feel like I’m achieving tasks, but it’s time very well spent nonetheless.  My muscles appreciate the exercise, all my systems seem to be running smoothly, my mind is cleared, and the knots of stress between my shoulder blades miraculously begin to relax.  The restorative effect is amazing and feels much more valuable than crossing things off a list!

 

My experience is that exercise without a particular goal, and in a beautiful setting, does this for me.  I used to do ballet with this effect, perhaps in part because I enjoyed the music so much (that was part of the beautiful setting).  When I practice yoga I feel this restorative effect, but I wasn’t always good at relaxing in the poses and quieting my mind.  But when I played sports like baseball and softball, where there are very specific, prescribed things to do during each play, I never felt this restoration, even though I enjoyed the sport.

 

Even now, as I reflect and write about today’s hike, I feel a shade of that restorative effect. For me, this is more enticing than any adrenaline rush could be.  I definitely value serenity over euphoria, and hiking is a great reminder of that.

2/7/09 – Our first training hike February 7, 2009

Today was our first training hike!  It was great to meet our hike leaders and mentors, and the other members of the training team.  Personally, I really like that the leaders and mentors keep a focus on the essence of hiking while still reminding us that we’re there for cancer research.  Essentially, they set a tone saying it’s okay to be there for the hiking itself AND for the cause.

 

The “trail” we hiked today wasn’t tremendously challenging – it was a fairly flat, paved loop in a park, and only 3 miles long.   The only thing that added some challenge was the layer of ice on the ground.  Still, it wasn’t so bad.

 

It was nice, too, to start something that leads up to a June event, so I can finally feel like we’re moving out of winter (I’m a huge fan of the hot weather and do not like the cold weather at all).  I look forward to these next few weeks of training!

2/1/09 – Cancer hits close to home February 1, 2009

My mother just had a cancer experience.  It was a little bit astonishing – within 3 weeks she was diagnosed, treated, and declared cancer-free. 

 

In a nutshell, she has been feeling exhausted for a while, and finally was diagnosed with severe anemia.  In searching for the cause of the anemia, her doctors found two tumors in her small intestine.

 

When my father told me about Mom’s diagnosis, I was terrified and sure that her chances of survival were slim.  I assumed it was pretty close to a death sentence.

 

Apparently I have not been keeping up with progress in cancer research.  Apparently, survival rates are growing steadily.  It seems that researchers are using technology to take a whole new approach to cancer.  They have a medicine that effectively destroys some types of cancer without doing general destruction like chemo.  Radiation is often targeted in particular areas to reduce broader side effects.  And advances in technology make it possible to find cancer in a person’s body before it’s a tumor the size of a grapefruit.

 

It’s very coincidental that my mom should experience the best case scenario of cancer just weeks before I start training and fundraising for cancer research!  I’m not just thankful that her prognosis is good – it changed my whole perspective on the fundraising experience.  I’m not an expert, but it seems like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel in searching for cures for different types of cancer.  It’s not just a pipe dream – we seem to be getting pretty close. 

 

I would do the fundraising even if we weren’t getting close, but it feels great to be driven by optimism rather than fear.  My optimism is now a grounded optimism, based on what’s really happening, not just a general, nebulous, blind optimism.

 

I hope nobody in my family has cancer again – it was a terrifying experience.  But I’m humbled by my mother’s experience and blessed to have found out that cancer treatment is making strides.

1/23/09 – hello again! January 23, 2009

It’s a new year!  And I’m looking forward to 2009.  One of the most exciting things is that next month we begin training for Team in Training.  Last summer I tried to train for a fundraising half marathon, but the knee pain was prohibitive (and completely no fun).  Since then they have incorporated a hike program, and I’m so excited about this.  Hiking is much more my style than running, and not only because of the knee pain.

 

With all due respect to runners, hiking suits my values much more closely.  First, I’m looking forward to a new kind of physical challenge because I value my personal well-being.  Second, I love activities that are social, and I”m looking forward to getting to know my teammates during training and event hikes.  Third, the environment is very important to me, and hiking will not only help me reconnect to nature but also keep the group focused on conservancy and the human impact on nature.

To me these things are all related – they result from one underlying influence.  My strongest value is a respect for life.  Sounds corny, and I struggle to find a non-corny way to describe it.  For me, this translates into having respect for my physical and emotional state, having respect for other people and building connections and community with others, and having respect even for whole systems of life (ecosystems or the environment). 

Valuing that life force also means that fundraising for good causes to help others is also the right thing to do.  In this case, we are raising money for blood cancer research and support services.

 

The Team in Training fundraising hike just happens to appeal to all these aspects of that underlying value.  It’s the value that frequently influences my decision-making, and I can’t wait to experience Team in Training with other like-minded people!

Making Strides, indeed! January 14, 2009

Welcome back, I say to myself.  If anyone is reading this, you might have guessed that I finally abandoned the half marathon training due to persistent and annoying knee pain.  Life is too short to keep doing something that is no fun and hurts.

But I wasn’t too proud to bail on a great cause (Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training).  So I only postponed until spring, rather than turning my back on the cause completely.  How excited was I when they announced that Team in Training will now include fundraising hikes?!?!  So I am now about to embark on training for a fundraising hike instead of a half marathon.  Hooray!

This was clearly kizmet, since the fundraising website for hikes is called… Making Strides. 

Anyway, I’m really looking forward to the experience, for the cause, for making new friends, for getting outdoors more, and for the exercise.  I’m hoping to start a well-rounded regime of exercise, not just the training hikes each weekend.  I kicked it off this morning with some gentle AM yoga when I first woke up.

I’m really excited to be training and blogging again!  I hope you’ll share your thoughts and comments with me.  And of course, feel free to make a donation!